Welcome to the Motel California

An American road trip wouldn’t be complete without a few grotty motels thrown into the mix.

The first motel we stayed at was called The Vagabond Inn, which sounded like a good name for a motel to me.

As we checked in, to my surprise, the receptionist informed us that breakfast was available and was served from 7.30-10am. We asked where.  She pointed to an off-white plastic table to the left of the reception desk where a dirty looking instant coffee machine stood.  Breakfast.

True to expectations, there was a dog barking in the parking lot and brown was the primary colour (well, the only colour) of the room's decor.

But I have to say, it was very clean, had a TV, free wifi and a cleaner coffee machine than the one in reception.

I wish I could say the same for the next motel we experienced, which was horrendous!  

I’m delighted to have found a Trip Advisor review, which sums the place up beautifully; click the link below to see for yourself...

Tripadvisor review of the lovely Homestead Motel

From one toy town to another…

We left the sand pit and drove through the desert to LA where I celebrated by 29^th birthday.

 

LA lived up to every stereotype under the sun:Bronzed camp men swung their hips from side to side as they pranced down the street, Barbie dolls carried tiny rat-like dogs, nestled in designer bags and plastic surgery clinics could be found on every corner.

Nonetheless, the Pretty Woman fan in me was very excited to find myself (strictly window shopping) on Rodeo Drive.

Vegas Baby: Wynn, win, lose

Vegas – the destination I’d been most looking forward to experiencing on our trip!

We booked to stay at Wynn – a super smart hotel and one of the best on the strip, it turns out.

We didn’t get off to the best start – little to our knowledge, the company Martin made our room reservation with had gone bankrupt and Wynn didn’t know us from Adam when we walked up to the plush check in desk.

Thankfully the hotel wasn’t fully booked so we checked into a suite on 33^rd floor – complete with a bath tub that was the size of a swimming pool and electric, remote control operated blinds which could be opened and closed at the touch of a button.  Brilliant.

Highlights of Vegas

• Putting $1 into a fruit machine and winning $12 (I'm not exactly a high roller) – I soon lost this however
• Watching people of all walks of life huddled around poker tables at 8.30am, on our way to breakfast
• Seeing 101 Elvis Presley’s swaggering down the streets
• Being given VIP tickets to the hotel's nightclub and drinking copious amounts of free champagne

God Bless America

 A few ‘Americanisms’ I’ve noticed along the way…

• Every meal is served with a bit of garnish on your plate, which includes a strawberry

• American’s really know how to pose for photographs

• Groceries from the corner store really are packed in brown paper bags, which is strangely exciting

• The USA is a cinnamon obsessed nation – even the chewing gum is cinnamon flavoured

• Not only is America bursting at the seams with overweight people, there are many signs / posters mounted of the walls of bakeries, cafes and restaurants encouraging people to eat e.g. “Go on, treat yourself’, “Diet starts tomorrow’, “Cookies taste good”

• 'Big' car takes on a whole new meaning in this XXL country

Sequoia: Tall trees, mosquito mayhem and marshmallows by the fire

We drove on to Sequoia national park, where we set up camp in another bear hungry forest 

The scenery was incredible and made me feel like I’d just walked on to the set of Homeward Bound.  

Sequoia trees are the biggest in the world and make you feel like a busy ant scurrying around on the ground.

A few key learnings: 

Park Rangers look exactly like they did in Yogi Bear - modeling a khaki shirt and trouser combo and matching hat.  Female Park Rangers are quite scary looking. 

It appears Americans don’t go running in National Parks. As we were training for the Sydney City to Surf 14km run, we went on a few runs. Everybody looked at us like we had escaped from an asylum

Sometimes things aren’t always as enjoyable as you expect. We anticipated a walk in Kings Canyon would be ‘pleasant’.  

However, we encountered 2 deer, 2 snakes, Larry the lizard and his 50 cousins and about 100,000 mosquitoes.  I managed to spill very sticky Gatorade on my top, which didn’t help matters.  We practically ran the last 3 miles through the swarm of mosquitoes.

Filling mashmallows with peanut butter M&Ms and then toasting them on an open fire is an excellent way to recover from a traumatic experience however

Miniature Martin next to a very tall tree

How to get the gas station pumping

Napa Valley to Yosemite - our first real stretch of driving and an opportunity to see what Tony was made of...which happens to be quite a lot.  He's a real mover!

We stopped to re-fill Tony at the Gas station.  Martin reached for the familiar green petrol pump, which led to half the men on the forecourt to run over in slow motion shouting 'noooooooooo, wrong one'.  I thought the whole place was about to blow up by their reaction; it was like a scene out of Back Draft. It just turns out Martin needed the black pump (which is unleaded in this meladramatic country).

Good on the Americans for saying something though; the British would have stood by, watched and then pretended not to notice.

Yosemite: If you go down to the woods today...

We got to Yosemite late afternoon.

I quickly became aware of the bear warning signs - which are everywhere.  In 2009, 27 bears were killed on the roads...that's a lot of bears and implies there are an awful lot more roaming around Yosemite.

Furthermore,  there are signs telling you not to leave any food in your car (yes, locked inside a metal vehicle), as the bears will break in to get whatever they can smell.   So, going on a 10 mile walk through dense forest, with our sandwiches in a flimsy nylon rucksack didn't exactly fill me with confidence.

And, if we were to encounter a bear, what exactly were we supposed to do?  Stand still and hope that tossing the bear a few sandwiches and a banana would save us or run for our lives?

Thankfully, we didn't find ourselves with this predictament.

The Napa Valley region: Super-size me!

Martin decided to truly embrace American culture by hiring a beast of a car (an SUV, which apparently stands for Sports Utility Vehicle).  We named our white travelling companion Tony (the first track we heard when we switched on the radio was Eye of the Tiger, so a Frosties advert inspired name seemed appropriate).

We drove to the Napa Valley (which is a beautiful wine region).  To go with our SUV, we purchased a 6 man tent from Walmart.  We then had to break into a camp site, as we arrived after 7pm and reception and main gate were closed.  We did this by driving very quicky after another car, who opened the electric gate using a pin number.  When did camping get so high tech?

We befriended our camp site neighbours (two large American men, who were brothers).  They were even more thrilled than me to discover that they had the same tent as us.  They worked on the wine lands and enjoyed extra large cans of beer at 6.30am.

San Francisco: Jumbo breakfasts, music and mad men

A few facts about this great city...

• San Francisco is a city with amazing diners - complete with cadillac cars, juke boxes, neon signs and red leather booths.  There is no better way to start the day than with a massive plate of pancakes and a bottomless cup of coffee.
• San Francisco is COLD in July
• There is live music on every street corner, to be enjoyed while eating clam chowder
• Every other person in San Francisco wears a jumper with ‘San Francisco’ on the front.  Are these people all tourists or do locals wear them too?
• There are more homeless people in San Francisco than in any other city i've ever been to before.  One particular nutter decided to jump out from behind a bush to scare us. He found this hilarious.  I didn't.
• Driving over Golden Gate bridge listening to Journey - 'Don't stop believing' is a great experience

PART 1: The all-American Road trip

FLIGHT 1: London to San Francisco

The London to San Francisco flight made me think I'd include a few extra lyrics in the song “If you are going to San Francisco…”.  I'd also be sure to...

...fly with Virgin Atlantic, then befriend the person in the aisle seat.  Chat to them for 11 hours, drink several gin and tonics, grasp their general outlook on life, ask for suggestions about where to go in San Franscisco (which aren’t in the guide books), then take their photo so never to forget them. 


You’ll disembark the aircraft with a new friend, some excellent advice and a hang over.

Martin and our fellow flyer and drinking buddy; Shane