Poling through paradise

Me, Ken and reeds full of spiders!

The Okovango Delta is the largest inland waterway in the world and being poled down it in a mokoro feels like floating down a passageway to heaven.

We arrived late, but the timing was perfect - the sun was beginning to set and the air was cooler.  We were divided into pairs and introduced to our individual polers who would be transporting us around the giant waterway for the following two days. Martin and I were lucky to have Ken - who was great!

We boarded our dug out canoes and before we knew it, we were gliding through the tranquil waters.  The only slight disturbance to this magical experience was the sheer volume of spiders that lived in the reeds.  Every time we brushed past the tall reeds (which happened a lot), spindly green spiders would fill the mokoro which put me on heightened alert!

We pulled into our 'camp'.  Stop number 9 was a patch of mud on the banks of the delta!  Coming across a huge elephant foot print next to where were pitching our tents did little to reassure me that we were safe camping in the middle of nowhere!

Bush camp no.2!

The next day - Max's birthday - we poled to a stop where we went on a walking safari.  This involves walking through a nature reserve where lions, elephants or other dangerous animals may be lurking and waiting to attack you any moment.  Exciting?  Yes.  Terrifying? Very.

At one point we had to remove our shoes to walk through a swamp. Song was less than impressed by this prospect!

We poled on to stop number 10: a lovely campsite further down the Okavango Delta, complete with A-frame tents (with beds!), hammocks and a bar.  There was also some African dancers - but the most entertaining thing about this, was not the dancers themselves but the audience participation.... Phil got a little too excited and smashed his instrument!

Phil strikes again!

After dinner, we returned to the bar to toast Max's birthday and I took over as ipod DJ. To my surprise, Madonna's 'Like a prayer' was a big hit with the locals and I had them copying my every dance move....hilarious!

Bushmen, booze and Botswana!

Following our time in Etosha, we were only a hop, a skip and a jump away from Botswana.

We journeyed on to stop over number 7 - Roys Camp, which we used as a base to visit the San bush men.  This whole experience was slightly bizarre, and was basically a more extreme version of visiting a theme park where people walk around dressed as Walt Disney characters.  The half naked men and women that we visited in their makeshift village no longer survive off the trees, bushes and game that surrounds them - they simply dress up and recreate this for our entertainment.  As such, I found myself waiting for their mobile phones to ring or for them step inside their mud huts and emerge with a bag of KFC in hand.

Still, it was entertaining watching Mike and Henry attempt to use bow and arrows to shoot at hay stacks, imaging they were actually live buffolo.

We journeyed on to our 8th stop: Rainbow lodge, just a stone throw from the Namibia-Botswana border.  This was a lovely campsite and I snapped up the offer to 'upgrade' and sleep in a proper room complete with double bed and private bathroom, which I would have appreciated so much more had I not participated in downing shots of 96% vodka and consequently barely remembered going to bed!!!!

The next day was unsurprisingly low key and we all spent the day sprawled out by the pool and evening watching the sunset on the deck, over a few more Savannahs (hare of the dog an' all).

Two days later we planned to set off early.  We were all onboard and ready to go but Claudia had other ideas and wouldn't budge an inch so we spent the following 2 hours learning yoga and karate moves while Olly ran around like a headless chicken finding a vehicle large enough to re-charge her battery from.  We finally set off and crossed the border into Botswana, meeting the nicest customs officials i've ever encountered in my life!  This all seemingly by-passed Sally, who asked 'Are we still in Namibia?'.

We drove for 5 hours, crossing a small ferry and passing countless villages and thousands of waving children along the way until we reached the mouth of the Okavango Delta....

In the jungle, the mighty jungle....

We'd been on the road for over week and bar a few Spingbok, Ostrich and giant insects, we had yet to see much in the way of wildlife.  As such, our visit to Etosha Game Reserve got everybody excited.

We entered the park mid-afternoon and within seconds, Sally yelled 'Giraffe' so loudly, that i'm sure all animals in a 20 mile radius would have made a run for it.  She pointed enthusiastically at her tall legged friend in the distance while the rest of us tried to 'ssshhh' her to quiet her down a little.  But, we were off to a good start thanks to Sally and 22 pairs of eyes began darting around frantically in search of the next animal.  The novelty of this wore a bit thin for some, who preferred to sleep....

Takes a lot to please some people!

The person I felt most sorry for during this animal hunt, was Arthur who was driving Claudia.  Arthur instructed us to shout "Twende" (which means 'let's go' in swahili) when we wanted to continue.  We all managed to grasp this concept, bar Sally, who preferred to shout 'Wendy'!  But the problem came when half the truck wanted to go, some wanted to stop and others wanted to reverse.  Poor Arthur looked completely confused and in the end, I think he just did his own thing.

Animal spotting in Etosha

 Despite these logistical issues, we had a productive 2 days in Etosha and managed to spot 'heaps' of springbok, zebra, jackals, wilderbeest and giraffes as well as 3 rhino, 1 leopard, 1 cheetah and...... 2 lions and their cubs relaxing at the roadside, which was the highlight of my whole trip!

Sleeping under the stars

We left Swakopmund at the crack of dawn and heavily hung over, and headed on to stop over number 6: Spitzkoppe (via a quick visit to Cape Cross seal colony).  Once again, we were back on the road and back on the ground, but this time, without our tents!

Climbing the almighty rock!

Spitzkoppe is a huge rock which looks like something that fell from outter space 10 million years ago and landed smack, bang in the middle of nowhere. And what a beauty spot it is.

We arrived at the foot of the great rock formations and then Claudia threw a hissy fit and an uncontrollable amount of air hissed from one of her back tires. Thankfully, after a few panicked moments, Olly (and Arthur - who caused this minor hiccup, much to Olly's frustration) fixed the problem before the tire went flat altogether.

It was precisely around this time that Martin and I had our first 'domestic' which quickly became public knowledge, was blown out of all proportion, irritated the whole group and resulted in Max enthusiastically putting on his 'marriage counsellor' hat. Brilliant.

We clambered up the rock face feeling slightly tense but just in time to enjoy the end of the afternoon sun and watch it disappear on the horizon while we drank yet more alcohol.

Yet another amazing sunset!

We ate dinner around the camp fire and cringefully took it in turns to sing songs, following much peer pressure from Kim, Sally and Bea who had all clearly been in the girl guides and were far more into the idea than the rest of us.  The British and the Australians in particular were less than enthused by singing in public.  In the end we relented and sang the National anthem, while the Aussies sang the vegemite song.

When we couldn't hack the singing anymore and we'd finished the packet of marshmellows, we climbed back up the rock face and wriggled into our sleeping bags.  The Americans and Rosie were less enammered by the idea and stayed firmly zipped up inside their tents.   I'll always remember that night as peace, quiet, a globe full of stars and 15 happy campers.

Martin getting ready for bed

Swakopmund: A-frame 106, sand storms and catapillars!

And so to Swakopmund: an old, bustling, German town in the middle of the Namibian desert....quite surreal really.  My heart skipped and my eyes danced with excitment as we drove along the tarmac road, passing shops, houses and hotels that lined the streets, knowing I wouldn't be sleeping with giant bugs for at least 2 nights!

Swakopmund was without doubt, one of my personal highlights of the whole trip.  It all began when Olly teamed us up with our 'A-frame' accommodation buddies.  There were 6 people per A-frame (mini apartment) and Martin and I were allocated to A-Frame 106 along with faceplant Phil, Mick Dundee, Laurence of Namibia and the one adored by American women in their 60s - Henry.

My kind of tent!

It's fair to say, I was very happy with Olly's allocation, despite being put in an apartment with 5 boys, and it paved the way for 3 very entertaining days.

Highlights of Swakopmund:

• Going sandboarding on the dunes  - both stand up and lie down. I loved the stand-up more than I ever imagined and was absolutely terrified by the lie down boarding as I whizzed down the slopes on a piece of plywood at 70mph.  The unexpected sand storm was also particularly hairy!

Moving at snail pace, but standing nonetheless

• Remo's amazing peace sign and smile, following a horrific wipe out half way down the dunes where he landed on his head rather than his feet when he screwed up his jump off the ramp
• Going on a township tour and eating a local meal, which included caterpillars!

Tasty bowl of grubs!

• Hitting the bar and dancing manically to Rhiannna 'Only girl in the world' with Song and Julia and a couple of locals
• Laurence's delight at walking past a woman 'twice' in the bar
• Bringing the caterpillars home with me and feeding them to the boys at 2am
• An amazing fish BBQ cooked up by Mick Dundee following his valiant fishing trip with Henry and Laurence

The only down side of Swakopmund was patient number 3 being Henry.  Henry had a nasty infection, which led to fevers and he was forced to spend most of his time in Swakopmund in bed.  But to his credit, he didn't moan once, and seemed to cope with caterpillar offerings and drunken ramblings in the early hours of the morning very well.  Thankfully he made a speedy recovery following a trip to the doctors for some much needed drugs.

The thing that horror movies are made of: giant bugs!

There was only one thing about this whole trip that I was dreading from the word go and that was bush camping.  The thought of camping in the middle of Africa with no more than a piece of flimsy nylon to shelter me from the bugs and wild animals that roam the length and breadth of this continent, filled me with fear.

As I mentioned previously, we were certainly eased into this trip gently.  We had been pitching our tents at pleasant campsites and each time we arrived to see a bright blue swimming pool sparkling at us, I was both surprised and happy!  But it was clearly time for some of those little luxuries to be removed and to 'rough it' once and for all.

Our 5th stop was little in the middle of nowhere.  Claudia battled along a bumpy dirt road, until we found a concrete platform surrounded by corrugated iron - this was our kitchen, lounge and dining room in one and well, that was the only sign that human beings had ever walked this land.

Preparing dinner in the 'kitchen'

It was with about 30 seconds of hopping out of Claudia that my heart sank as I encountered not 1, not 5 or 10 but about 15 gigantic bugs crawling along the corrugated iron shelter!

Getting up close and personal!

My worst nightmare had come true.  The whole ground was moving with taratula sized bugs.  Panic enveloped me.  We put our tent up at record speed, my jeans went on in a flash as did my trainers in attempt to cover as much flesh as possible.

Although completely plagued with fear for the entire evening, I could just about appreciate the beautiful landscape that surrounded us, the stunning sunset and the orchestra of insects that sang in their playground.

I barely slept a wink though as I vividly imagined the bugs opening the zips to our tent and slowly invading.  Yes, it would have been the perfect scene from a horror movie.Needless to say, I was thrilled when the sun rose up from the ground again and it was time to pack up and leave for Swakopmund: civilisation!

Adventures in Namibia!!!

On 29th April 2011, while the rest of the world watched in excitement as Prince William tied the knot with Kate Middleton, Martin and I set off on our greatest adventure yet!

It became clear early on that rather than having the baptism of fire I had feared, we were being eased into our overland trip gently!

Stop 1: Beautiful vineyard close to the South Africa - Namibia border.
Just 3 hours north of Cape Town, our truck pulled into a stunning vineyard, and we pitched our tents on thick, luscious grass before spending the evening wine tasting by the swimming pool!

Beautiful vineyard where we spent our first night

The following day, we crossed the border and entered Namibia - at last, I finally felt we were on our way!

Stop number 2 was (again) a lovely camp site over looking the fast flowing Orange River.  Just one day into the trip and it was here that Martin encountered his first patient - 69 year old Sally who had an infected finger... no rest for the wicked!

After breakfast and a bit of finger draining, we journeyed on to stop number 3: the spectacular Fish river canyon, during which Kim and Sally (the American twins) entertained us all by shoving balloons up their t-shirts to impersonate Pamela Anderson!

The Fish River Canyon

Just as we were enjoying the view of the beautiful canyon, with a chilled Savannah in hand, casualty number 2 occurs.  Laurence (of Namibia) stubbed his toe and a phenomenal amount of blood oozed from his foot, much to my horror.

Once the bleeding had stopped and the toe was bandaged up, we retired to our nearby campsite where during the course of the night, I spotted my first ever scorpian, drank too much port and gin by the fire and rescued Henry by assisting him in removing a lizard from in his tent.

Day 4 is when the travelling really started to kick in. We boarded Claudia for a hard-core 13 hour drive, which got off to a rocky start when we encountered gear problems just 15 minutes after our departure.  With a little intervention from Olly, we were back on the road in no time and the hours effortlessly rolled on by with countless games of 'Ass hole' with Martin, Max and Mike!

Martin and Max go head to heard in cards!

We finally pulled into our 4th campsite, located close to Dune 45, in darkness.  We set up our tents and collapsed by the fire while Denford prepared us a delicious local dish of Pap and peanut sauce.

Getting up at 4am the following morning to watch sunrise was certainly a shock to the system and not really my idea of a 'holiday'.  BUT - without doubt, watching the sun rise over the golden dunes was a truly incredible experience and one I'll always remember.

Spectacular sand dunes at sunrise

Once the sun had risen and we'd all had our own moments of tranquility, it was time for some fun!  The climb to the top of the dunes was not easy, but it was worth every moment when it was time to run down the steep slopes as fast as we could....which led to a few face-plants from fearless Phil!

Olly, our team leader, speeding to the bottom!

Meet the team!

First, let me introduce you to Claudia, our 1986 Mercedes truck (named after Miss Schiffer naturally).  Now it's fair to say that our super model was one tough cookie.  She successfully transported us across Eastern Africa through dirt, desert, mud and water...with only a few minor hiccups here and there.

Getting ready to leave for our next destination!

We covered a hell of a lot of ground in Claudia, listening to a surprising amount of Dire Straits, holding a beer in one hand and playing cards in the other....not a bad way to wile away a few hours on the road I must say!

On quiet, 'good' roads, we rode on the roof seats, waving at the hundreds of kids who appeared from nowhere to chase Claudia into the distance....happy days!

Next is Ollie, our Liverpudlian tour leader, who acted like a 12 year old raiding a sweet shop every time we encountered an animal, a sand dune or a quad bike - this man lived and breathed his job and his enthusiasm was infectious!

Ollie being poled down the Okavango Delta in Botswana!

The legend of the trip was Denford AKA the best chef in all of Africa, at least I reckon he could be if an Africa Master chef TV series was ever made.  Not only did Denford cook up a storm on every campsite we visited, in 28 days, I never ate the same delicious meal twice and they just kept getting better and better.  Denford also happens to have the best pearly white smile i've ever seen.

The friendliest chef in the world!

Finally, Arthur, the Kenyan comedian who laughed like a girl.  This man had a heart of gold and did the honours of driving Claudia across Africa... though it's fair to say that Claudia and Arthur often failed to see eye to eye.

Always the joker!

Getting ready for our African adventure!

The thought of spending 3 weeks travelling through Southern Africa on a huge truck with 19 strangers while bush camping along the way, filled me with excitment and dread in equal measures.

How would I cope with the bugs?  The bush toilets?  The big brother-esque experience?  I had no idea whether I would absolutely love or hate the trip that I''d keenly signed Martin and I up for, while living in our comfortable apartment in Sydney, a million miles away from Africa. Consequently, as we packed our bags and shut the door of our clean and spacious hotel room, I seriously wondered whether I'd made a terrible mistake!

But alas, having completed this epic adventure, I'm pleased to say we had an absolute ball! We generated a life time's worth of incredible experiences and made some great friends along the way.  I will do my best to capture the magic we found in the places and people we encountered...